The creeper came back to haunt me the moment they backed out of the drive. It reared its ugly head right into my face and my stomach began to churn. What if they don’t come back? “Lord, keep them safe. Please bring them back home.” My sincere prayer was heard but not received. I only know because I had a horrible gut-wrenching fear building up inside of me, and because of this monster, I did not trust God to bring my kiddo and hubby home safely. Instead, I allowed this beast to continue to increase the flicker of anxiety that rested deep inside.
This lack of trust is no different than when the disciples were with Jesus in the boat in the middle of the sea, and a storm comes upon the men. Jesus is sleeping soundly while the rest of the crew is in sheer panic so much that they start to call out to Jesus and tell him to get up because they have some major problems taking place. You would expect Jesus to get up and ask what he could do to help, but instead, he rebukes his disciples and even says you of little faith. What are you afraid of? (Matthew 8:26) Can you imagine? Here you are panic stricken thinking you are about to die and when you asked your friend to help, they chew you out for even asking such an idea.
Stepping back into the house, I went about my evening routine trying to set aside my original fear, but in the back of my mind a spark continued to ignite into a flame of fear. Did they make it to the store? Should I call to see if they’re okay? After a few more questions, God’s words washed over me and my eyes were opened fully to the trick the enemy was trying to play against me. I recalled the scripture I had buried deep in my heart for moments like this. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 3:7).
From that moment I knew this nonsense had to stop! Did God not create my husband and daughter? Does he not know every hair on their head? Did he not knit them together in the womb before they were born? All of these ideas led me to understand that God has it all under control and that I don’t have to worry about the situation. He knows.
A long time ago, I gave my family back to God by surrendering their lives to Him because they are a gift given to me that at any moment can be taken away, so I must learn to trust God wholly and completely that if for some reason, something were to happen to my family, God is in control. He always was, is and will be.
I reminded myself that when I fear I am telling God that I don’t trust Him, but when I trust in him completely, he not only hears my prayers, but he responds to my plea. That night I remembered to “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go.” (Joshua 1:9). He is always with me even in my darkest days. That night, my youngest daughter and my husband returned safe and sound and I sent up a prayer of thanksgiving knowing that God had heard and responded with a “Yes”.