To take the attitude that Christian teens in a dating relationship are not in a morally dangerous situation is to turn a blind eye to human nature and to do a disservice to those we are expected to teach and guide.
Attending church, reading the Bible, knowing the moral laws of God, and being in a youth group will not keep teens from engaging in sexual behavior, even when they know it is wrong. It is our job, as leaders and mentors and examples to these young people to instruct and advise, and we cannot do that with our eyes closed and our mouths shut. There is a code of silence when it comes to sexual behavior – not in general, such as when we say the Bible warns against sexual sin, but specifically as it relates to the real world where they live.
It is not true that if we don’t talk about it, they won’t think about it, because they will. It is not true that if we do not tell what can happen, and how, that nothing will happen, because it can and it does. Then we must deal with the fallout, and that is if we even know about the issues, and if we don’t, the enemy will pile on shame and, if he succeeds, they may be lost.
Breaking the Silence
What can we do? We must speak up. We must be honest and upfront. We must tell where the lines lay and what happens if you cross it. They need to know when to stop and, not only when to turn back, but also that you can turn back. If you go too far once, you don’t have to go there again. It is acceptable to say, I don’t want to go there again because it is dangerous.
Most of all we must be honest and realistic because they need to know how they feel is normal. It is not shameful and dirty, it is how God made us. The feelings of attraction is God’s design, and sex, between a marriage partners is good and healthy, not bad and dirty. Satan has perverted sexual matters in a million different ways, and we have to turn the light on the lies and bring the truth and take back what he stole from us in all things.
So parents, Sunday School teachers, pastors, youth leaders, and friends should tell the truth to protect and teach what is right and how to proceed with care. We owe it to them to tell the truth and to council and not to condemn. Be brave because it matters.