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Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

As women, our culture does not teach us how to be godly; in fact it teaches the opposite! There is much confusion over how women should act and behave. On one hand, we are shown how to be sex symbols and that we are worth nothing more than our physical bodies, and on the other end of the spectrum we are to be submissive and have no voice.

When I got married over 16 years ago, I was very puzzled about how to be a godly wife. I did not have any role models growing up to show me how to be a godly wife. I asked the Lord to show me how to put God first in everything, and how to be a respectful wife.

For a long time, I was not a respectful or  kind wife. It is not that I did not want to be; I just did not know how. The first thing God did was place strong, Christian marriages before me to observe, or to serve as an inspiration. Then one day, I heard the Lord say to me in my spirit, “I want you to be a Proverbs 31 woman.” I had heard about this scripture, but I had never read it before.

The first thing I did was look up that scripture. I thought, certainly I would be at peace after reading it, however I was not! I had never been those things listed in Proverbs 31. I had been anything but a virtuous woman. I lived to please myself.

Slowly, the Lord began to chip away what the world had taught me about being a woman and a wife. It has been a process, to say the least. I have not obtained perfection, but each day I am getting closer to the mark. My desire is to place Jesus at the center of my life, and to be what God says I am, not what the world demands me to be.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12). (Continue reading all of Proverbs 31, through verse 31).

Traits of a virtuous woman:

Trusting and supportive: A virtuous woman respects her husband and is a helpmate to him. She adds to his life, and she can be trusted and is loyal.

Works hard: A virtuous woman rises early and takes care of her responsibilities and her household. She is not lazy, but diligently completes all her daily tasks.

Serves God: A virtuous woman places God first, and pursues her relationship with Jesus.

Nurturing: A virtuous woman cares for her family, and teaches her children the ways of the Lord.

Takes care of herself: A virtuous woman takes care of her physical body.

Serves: A virtuous woman serves her spouse, family, friends, and community.

Finances: A virtuous woman is a good steward of her money, and makes good use of the income she has.

Homemaking: A virtuous woman is a homemaker, she provides an environment of peace, warmth and love to her family and to others.

Beauty: A virtuous woman has beauty that comes from Christ dwelling inside of her.

These traits sound almost impossible, and they are without Christ! Being a Proverbs 31 woman, does not mean you are striving to be perfect, but through Christ obtaining the traits of a godly woman that He desires you to have.

 What other traits does a Proverbs 31 woman have? What ones are the most difficult for you to develop?

About Stephanie Reck

Stephanie has a heart and passion to see broken lives restored and redeemed through Jesus Christ. She writes through her personal experiences and her educational and professional background. She has over 17 years experience in counseling, and has a Master's degree in Social Work, Bachelor's degree in Psychology, and is a Licensed Belief Therapist. Stephanie has been married for 16 years,and has one grown son. Stephanie's desire through her writings is to bring hope and encouragement to the body of Christ, that no matter what you have been though or going through, there is restoration and redemption through Jesus Christ.

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  1. Even though Proverbs 31 is really talking about “Wisdom,” it truly hold some awesome qualities that women would be better off having. With God’s guidance, we can definitely aim to be the best wives and mothers we can be.

    • Amelia,
      Thank you for your comment. I had absolutely no clue how to be a godly woman or wife, so this particular scripture helped me to understand better. Of course there have been many other scriptures that have shown me as well like 1 Cornithians 13:4-7. This was a snippet of what God has shown me over the years.

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