“On pay day, we’re going to spend a portion of the money on that vacation we’ve been planning for years. No more waiting. We’re doing it.”
“No dear, we’re not. We’re going to give that portion to the church. We’ve already talked about this, and I’ve decided this is what God wants us to do with my paycheck.”
“I’m sure God wants us to be happy. We can afford to take a vacation once in awhile. Can’t we do something I want to do, for a change?”
“As head of household, and the only working adult, I decide what happens with our money. We’re giving the portion to church. End of discussion.”
This argument is a picture of Superman versus Captain Marvel: An unstoppable force collides with an immovable object. The wife is determined to make her vacation plans come to fruition. The husband, on the other hand, is unwavering in his plans to tithe a certain portion of his earnings to the church. So what do you do, when the marriage hits a brick wall of indecision?
Personally, I have a problem with the husband pulling the patented “Head-of-Household” card. I’m not too fond of the wife choosing to blow off the tithe for a vacation either. This situation is delicate. At face value, it may appear to be a catch-22. Every Kingdom man wants to please his wife, but not at the expense of depriving the Lord. Every faithful wife wants to feel loved, nurtured and supported by her husband. But she doesn’t want to be treated as if her opinions and desires are not worth taking into consideration.
When the Apostle Paul wrote to Ephesus, his letter actually addressed both arguments. Ephesians 3:24 says,
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
However, Ephesians 3:28 goes on to say,
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
So, what do we do in a marriage catch-22? We pray…together. The enemy seeks to drive a wedge between a man and wife by any means. We cannot give him a foothold in our marriages. When my wife and I come to an impasse, most times God directs us to compromise. Its not a draw where God is concerned. It’s a means of me denying my flesh for her benefit, at the same time that she is denying her flesh for my benefit. And in the end, Satan loses.
Married couples need vacation time alone, to keep the marriage bond fresh. Christians should tithe, to honor the Lord with a portion of the gift He grants us, bi-weekly. How we determine the common ground depends on what the Lord instructs us to do. The catch is we husbands need to seek His council with our wives, not apart from them. Together, we’re stronger than the enemy.