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12 Tips to Help You Successfully Date as a Christian

Friends, dating is such an important topic, so today I’m going to reveal what I believe are some of the best tips on dating. I’m not going to go into extreme detail with them, but I hope to cover them enough so that you can get a feel for them, and even encourage you to explore these things further.

1. Communication

One of the most important aspects of dating, or in any relationship, is communication. If communication is only one-way or you are not communicating effectively with your potential mate, it is going to be hard for them to get to know you better and hold interest. When communication is two-way it helps to improve both interest and validation. What I mean by “validation” is that both individuals feel like they are being heard and understood by the other.

2. Mutual Agreement

Please allow me to share one of my all-time favorite scriptures on relationships. It is actually a rhetorical question that forces the reader to make an obvious decision on the matter at hand.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Of course two cannot walk together unless they are in agreement! We need to be in agreement on things with our mate if we expect our relationship to flourish.

3. Don’t Be Controlling

One of the definite no-no’s of relationships is trying to be controlling. Just as God gives us a will to make choices, we need to have flexibility and allow others to be who they are and make decisions. Don’t suffocate your partner with this type of behavior. It will only lead to disaster.

4. Roll With Rejection

Rejection is part of dating. If you feel like you are being rejected, don’t take it to heart, but rather gather yourself and move on. There’s no reason to chase someone that doesn’t want to be chased, and it’s better to believe that God has someone out there who is ready to accept you just as He has.

5. Don’t Be Psycho

One issue with dating is that there needs to be a lot of caution taken. Many times there is a lack of disclosure and people often let ungodly feelings manifest inside them. Remember, we have an enemy, and he is concerned about wrecking us, including our dating lives. Don’t fall for the enemy’s tricks and don’t put someone else in an uncomfortable situation. If something you plan to do sounds like it might be a bit crazy, it’s likely that it is and you need to back off.

6. Purity

The Holy Bible is clear that the marriage bed should be undefiled (Heb 13:4). This should be taken very seriously. Don’t try to tempt a potential mate and don’t try to lure them into playing games for your own personal gratification. True love is never selfish and staying pure is only going to lead to a stronger relationship when you do connect appropriately with a mate and eventually marry.

7. Spiritual Intimacy

I would encourage you to be caution with intimacy. Things like prayer and devotions help couples to become closer and connect with God, but there is also a danger. This is because spiritual intimacy can lead to physical intimacy. Be careful where you are at when you are spiritually intimate with your partner and be ready to take a break if things become too heated physically.

8. Know When To Hold Em

You probably recognize this popular line from Kenny Rogers’ song. The song is actually referring to card gambling, but if we put our thinking caps on, it can also be applied to dating. We certainly need to know when to hold our partners, especially when they’re feeling down or feel the need to be intimate. Again, be careful how you approach intimacy and make sure it brings glory to God (1 Cor 10:31).

9. Know When To Fold Em

Sometimes it’s necessary to “fold em.” You have to know when to walk away from a bad relationship and move on to a relationship that will be healthy for you. Don’t continually throw your chips into the pot on a dead relationship. In the end you’ll just end up broke emotionally and this is no way to live.

10. Don’t Read Into Things

One of the mistakes people often make is they read into things that they think their partner is saying, then they react without clarification. The best thing to do when you are unsure of something is to just ask. If it’s bad, then it’s bad, but at least you know. Remember, the truth will always set you free (John 8:32).

11. Imperfect Perfection

Keep in mind that nobody out there is perfect. Learn to love people for their imperfections and their potential. Focus in on their heart. This is what God does and we should follow His lead (1 Sam 16:7). Who knows, what you used to think was a flaw might be what you fall in love with the most!

12. Fair Expectations

The final tip is to have fair expectations of others. Relationships are a process, so don’t expect to jump into a relationship that is fully developed. Allow your mate to prosper with you. You don’t want to try to force your ideas on someone. Nurture them and they will blossom with you like a pair of spring lilies.

Final Thought

Friends, the dating scene can be tough, but if we properly prepare for it, things can go exceptionally well. Love is out there and God wants you to find it. When you do, remember to be nurturing with it. This will allow your relationship to continually grow and give you a firmer foundation for a healthy and happy life. Thank you for reading and God bless.

What is your best dating tip that you would like to share with others?

About Joel Bauer

Joel M. Bauer is a 49-year-old U.S. Army Veteran from Dunn, NC, which is just outside of Raleigh. After being honorably discharged from the U.S. Army, he attended school at Taylor University, a Christian liberal arts school, in Fort Wayne, IN, where he received his BS in social work and psychology. He has worked in such places as a homeless shelter, a community based treatment center for severe mental illnesses, a school for troubled students, and other social service agencies. His current endeavor is to build The Bottom Line website into a site that inspires both Christians and non-Christians alike, and brings glory to God.

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  1. Hi Joel, a question about men, generally speaking. Are they looking for a woman to do something or say something to let them know we are interested in them before they take a risk to ask us out?

    Married women I’ve talked to said they kind of reached out first and encouraged their mate, which contradicts the courting theology that men should do that, but maybe that’s not how it really works in the real world.

    Is it naive and impractical to believe that if God wants a person to marry and when the timing is right and the people are right, that it will all happen and fall into place naturally – that one doesn’t need to be hung up on what they should and should not do?

  2. Ashley,

    What a great question! Rather than answer here, I think I’m going to respond to this in the form of an article because I think a lot of people have the same concern and there is a lot that can be said about this subject. God bless.

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