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Why Rejection Wounds So Deeply

Rejection “speaks” loudly, it says, “You are not good enough to be accepted.”

Rejection attacks the very person that we are, and destroys our self-esteem. We were all created to be loved, accepted and to belong. Many who have experienced rejection in early childhood continue to battle with rejection in adulthood. A lie was believed early on that continues to torment the soul, “You are not wanted.” Rejection in early childhood can stem from abuse, abandonment, being adopted, or being bullied.

Once someone becomes a Christian they are adopted into God’s family and certainly not rejected, but oftentimes feelings of rejection still can plague you. One reason for this is new rejections come into your life such as a break-up with a boyfriend, divorce or even rejection from family members who are not serving Christ. It is amazing how the enemy knows our “blueprint” and can easily expose our former weaknesses. Another reason Christians can still battle rejection is their identity is rooted in people and not in Christ.

The closer a person is to you, the deeper the rejection can wound you. Whenever we feel pain from rejection, it is because our identity depends upon what that person thinks about us. If our identity did not depend on what others thought of us, we would not feel the sting of rejection as much. Think about that for a moment: What would your life be like if your identity was based solely on what God says and thinks about you and not the opinions of others? Even if it is your mother, father, sister, brother or child who is rejecting you.

“For the Lord will not forsake His people, and He will not abandon His heritage.” Psalm 94:14, ESV

A definition of rejection is: refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of. Other words that have similar meanings as rejection are: brush off, abandon, avoid, banish, decline, dismiss, deny and cast off.

Charles Dickins defines rejection as: Being shunned like the plague.

Jesus understands when we feel rejected, He was rejected and despised by many. Rejection is a feeling of not being loved or wanted. I am certain when Jesus walked the earth He experienced not being loved or wanted by many. Experiencing rejection on any level can make it difficult to receive love from others.

Our worth and value do not come from whether people accept and love us. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others or feel that you do not measure up, or constantly seek the approval of others; your identity is based on what people think of you. If this is the case, you will be easily disappointed and may experience depression, feelings of failure, unworthiness and condemnation.

Others may reject you, perhaps even your very own family. If this is true, I am so deeply sorry for your pain but who does God say that you are? Find a quiet place and be still before the Lord and ask Him, “God what do you think of me?” Write what He says down and trust what God says about you. God’s words are always gentle, loving, kind, and affirming. Repent for desiring man’s approval and acceptance over God’s, and ask God to show the “roots” of the rejection in your life. Begin to see yourself as God sees you. Forgive, release and bless those who have rejected you.

God says, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14.



About Stephanie Reck

Stephanie has a heart and passion to see broken lives restored and redeemed through Jesus Christ. She writes through her personal experiences and her educational and professional background. She has over 17 years experience in counseling, and has a Master's degree in Social Work, Bachelor's degree in Psychology, and is a Licensed Belief Therapist. Stephanie has been married for 16 years,and has one grown son. Stephanie's desire through her writings is to bring hope and encouragement to the body of Christ, that no matter what you have been though or going through, there is restoration and redemption through Jesus Christ.

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One comment

  1. Thanx so much for this Steph. I have lived my life expecting rejection. It is a constant battle for me. Won’t go in to all the reasons, but know your words ring true and good sound biblical advice is given here. I am a 36 yr. counselor/social worker myself. Doesn’t always help that much when it is you going through it. Maybe, its even harder.

    You speak words of truth all should pay attention to. Thanx again for your expert and wise counsel with biblical guidlines and leading us to see our identity now lay in relationship with Christ. Always enjoy your reads. Keep up the good work.

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