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One Christian Man’s Perspective On Sex

Friends, today I’m going to tackle a monster of a topic, and that is human sexual relationships. I certainly don’t have all the answers to this complex topic, but I can share with you some of the knowledge and wisdom I believe the Lord has given me on this matter. Please understand, these are my personal views and you are certainly free to agree or disagree.

Requirement Vs Commitment

I would like to start off by saying I believe that sexual relationships are both a requirement and a commitment. Please allow me to explain. A requirement is something that is imposed by another individual or authority. God has said in His word that we are to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28), and that a person should not withhold sexual intimacy from their spouse (1 Cor 7:4-5).

On the flip-side of things, a commitment is something we willingly choose. If I say I am committed to my spouse, then that means I have made a choice of my own free will to interact with them romantically.

When both a requirement and a commitment are present, we are allowing God into the relationship, while at the same time showing personal acceptance for our partner. When you apply both aspects into the relationship, it forms a three-way bond between you, your spouse, and the Lord (Ecc 4:12).

Keep Your Pants On

Let’s keep this short and sweet. If you’re not married, then you need to keep your pants on. You may think it’s fun and games, but both people involved are actually robbing their future spouse by engaging in hanky panky with someone they may or may not marry. Being engaged isn’t an excuse either. I’ve heard of engagements breaking off on the wedding day, and what are you stuck with then? You’ve shared yourself intimately with someone and now you’ve not only created a soul tie with them, but now you’re going to want to compare your sex with the one you do eventually marry. That’s not fair to them or you. Play it safe and keep your pants on!


Phone sex has been popular for some years now, but let’s be honest. It’s sin! Alexander Graham Bell would roll over in his grave if he knew what people were talking about on the phone. To make things worse, now with smart phones and cameras, there is often an urge to send or request inappropriate photos. Hello? Are you getting this? I’m no whiz when it comes to cell phones, but I do know that when you send a photo to someone else, it can easily be sent to millions of other people or even find its way on the Internet. Be safe and guard your mind and your body from this sort of behavior.

Oral Sex Counts

There is a popular belief, especially with teens, that oral sex doesn’t count. The problem with this way of thinking is that’s it’s false. You are submitting yourself to another person physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You are giving yourself to them and you are exchanging bodily fluids. Not only does oral sex count, but it also lowers inhibitions and can lead to other sexual contact. Again, be safe and guard your body.

Forgiveness Isn’t An Excuse

Another problem with premarital sex is that many people think it’s okay because they’ll just be forgiven the next day when they say a prayer. It is true that God does forgive sin, but you must come to God with true repentance (Prov 28:13). If you’re using forgiveness as an excuse, then it is likely that you have a case of “Pinocchio Syndrome” since you’re lying to yourself. So, don’t be surprised if your nose starts growing from telling yourself this lie!

The Marriage Bed

The Holy Bible tells us that the marriage bed is to be undefiled (Heb 13:4). If you’ve gotten this far then congratulations. You’re on your way to a healthy sexual relationship. This is when you don’t hold back, but remember to be respectful to your partner. Don’t try to force them out of their comfort zone and be sure to give them confirmation of both their performance and your love for them.

Word Play

Sex is meant for making babies, but it is also meant for pleasure. Don’t take on the mentality that your partner is just there as a “baby making machine.” God made sex pleasurable for a reason. Don’t be shy. Talk to your spouse and let them know how special they are.

Now there should be some restrictions. Guys, no matter how hot you think it is, don’t tell her things like, “You’re a hot piece of booty.” It’s not what a woman needs to hear. Tell her how much you love her and need her. Tell her how beautiful she is. What we say is certainly important and can greatly intensify a sexual relationship when done right.

Keep It Interesting

One thing to keep in mind is that sex can get boring. This happens when you’re not looking for new, and healthy, ways to spice up your sex life. Here are just a few suggestions:

*Romance her and take her to a nice hotel with room service.
* Wear outfits that “excite” your partner. Even discover if there are certain colors or styles that interest them.
* Surprise her during sex with a special gift or proposition (Example: Invitation to dinner at her favorite restaurant).
* Use fun props to increase sexual intimacy (Example: Body paints, lotions, or oils).

Final Thought

Sex is meant to be a beautiful thing. It’s a chance to connect with your spouse and be intimate with them. Don’t miss out on great sex by not putting your heart into it one hundred percent. If you keep it fun and interesting, it’s going to continually elevate your marriage, and that makes it all worth it. Thank you for reading and God bless.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? What is your best sex advice? I want to hear from you!

About Joel Bauer

Joel M. Bauer is a 49-year-old U.S. Army Veteran from Dunn, NC, which is just outside of Raleigh. After being honorably discharged from the U.S. Army, he attended school at Taylor University, a Christian liberal arts school, in Fort Wayne, IN, where he received his BS in social work and psychology. He has worked in such places as a homeless shelter, a community based treatment center for severe mental illnesses, a school for troubled students, and other social service agencies. His current endeavor is to build The Bottom Line website into a site that inspires both Christians and non-Christians alike, and brings glory to God.

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