Ten Things To Know BEFORE You Get Married
By John Livingston Clark
Here are ten essential things to know about the other person before you get married. If they are not revealed and discussed there is the potential for problems.
1. Do they have past unresolved emotional issues? Are there past hurts that may surface and cause marital conflict? Have there been any past negative or destructive relationships?
2. How well do they manage money? Do they have a lot of excessive debt? Do they have a habit of spending beyond their means? Are they a mizer? How well do they manage credit cards? Money issues are a leading cause of divorce.
3. What kind of home life did they come out of? Was there a dysfunctional home where the parents did not get along? How about physical violence? Addictions? Generational curses? These are dysfunctional mindsets and behaviors that have become a norm and which have been passed down from one generation to the next. For example, the dad was an angry person so the the son is also. These can be exhibited in many forms.
4. Do they know what real love is? Apart from physical intimacy do they understand that love is not based upon a feeling but it is an act of will. They make a choice to love you.
5. Is there acceptance of the other person as they are? But is there also a desire on the part of the other to make necessary changes for the sake of having a good relationship?
6. Are there any secret sins? Is the guy involved in pornography? Does the lady like to flirt with other men?
7. What economic level did the other person come out of? This is not a negative, just something that must be discussed. If one person is used to spending extravagantly and the other is used to just getting by there could be problems.
8. Has there been a history of adulterous relationships or multiple marriages?
9. Did the other person live with someone else other than a family member before marriage? Did they have sex before marriage? There can be negative repercussions from this.
10. What is the other person’s religious and moral views about salvation, the Bible, church attendance, same-sex marriage, abortion, and their overall world view?