Most people have experienced the sting of rejection sometime in their lives. You may have been abandoned by your parents, left orphaned, or shunned by your family, friends, or a spouse. Rejection makes you feel unloved, unwanted and not good-enough. Rejection can destroy your self-esteem and your purpose in life.
Some common characteristics of someone who has been rejected: self-hate/self-rejection, a tendency to wonder if a person rejects or accepts you, a tendency to reject others (before they have a chance to reject you), not able to receive constructive criticism, people-pleasing, fixers, critical towards self and others, trouble receiving and giving love, feelings of inferiority, preoccupation with appearances, and overly sensitive.
There is a void in someone’s life when they have experienced this depth of pain. Usually that pain is filled with drugs, alcohol, over-eating, perfectionism, self-pity, and promiscuity. It is common, especially for girls to engage in multiple sexual partners if at anytime in her life she has experienced rejection. This happens because she feels unworthy, unloved and is trying to fill the void in her life from feeling unloved. Oftentimes, you will find prostitutes, strippers,and women involved in other sexually explicit occupations suffering from a root of rejection. Not everyone who has suffered from rejection will go on to these types of occupations, but that pain usually comes out in destructive ways if not dealt with and healed at the hands of Jesus.
Imagine as a child being told, “Nobody wants you.” Or your mother or father decides they don’t want to raise you and give you up to foster care. Even children who have been adopted oftentimes suffer from the lie they were rejected, when it fact they were chosen! Rejection does not just happen in childhood, countless people have endured the heartaches of infidelity in their marriage, or betrayal in relationships that are close to us. The worst kind of rejection happens to the ones who are closest to us. The underlying message in all of these scenarios is: “You are not good enough to be loved or counted worthy.” If we do not expose the lies that try to penetrate at the onset of rejection, it will permeate into our souls.
REJECTION HAPPENS. Jesus was even rejected and He still gets rejected by many today! We were all created for love, acceptance,and appreciation. The problem is when we look to others for love and acceptance, we set ourselves up for failure. Only God can be trusted as our source of identity. Suffering can be beneficial if we don’t allow it to turn into bitterness and inward into self-pity. If you have been rejected by others and allowed God to heal you,then you can reach out to others with mercy, tenderness and an understanding of their plight. God does not waste pain!
It is important to forgive those that have hurt you, and not to become a victim of your circumstances. Replacing the lies that you have been told or spoken to yourself with the truth of God’s Word is of utmost importance.
When my mother and father forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.
Many people have unfortunate experiences of being forsaken by parents or loved ones. Even as adults, the pain can linger. God CAN take that place in our lives, fill that void and heal our hearts.
*For more information on what the Bible says about rejection, read Wednesday’s post on Bible About.
*Check out my YouTube video on rejection.