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How to Evaluate Your Relationships By God’s Standards

Have you been dating somebody a while and there’s just this little stirring in your heart wondering, “Is this the person I should be with?”

It’s that still small voice inside your heart analyzing and questioning if this the person you’re meant to share forever with. I’ve been there! In fact, I share my story of God pursuing my heart in the midst of my last (dysfunctional) relationship and the revelations I’ve been given over at www.RaisedtoLife.com.

It’s easy to focus on things like physical attraction, comfort and compatibility in the sense that maybe you enjoy the same things, but these factors do not ultimately determine if the relationship is destined for longevity. Here I’d like to challenge you with three questions to pray about and see what the Lord reveals:

1. Do we bring each other into a better understanding of God’s love?

First and foremost, let’s not ignore the command to join together with someone that shares our same passion for faith as it’s the #1 area that can bring the most unity or disconnection:

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. (2 Corinthians 6:14 MSG)

2. Does this person produce the fruit of the Spirit?

The qualities and characteristics of a person are obvious and observable. Too often couples ignore reality for hopes that people will miraculously change. While all things are possible with God, using the wisdom and discernment you are given can alleviate unnecessary heartbreak.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

3. Do we compliment each other’s calling?

The Lord desires for couples to be unified to create greater Kingdom impact, not create divide and distraction to the gifts and talents you are born with.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)

You are not a mistake. God has fashioned you together with a purpose and a plan for your life–above all else, to be in relationship with Him and to glorify Him in whatever you do. This includes the relationships you engage in. The relationship God desires for you will be one that magnifies, encourages and supports one another’s God-given mission.

(This happens to be a lesson I’ve learned the hard way as I was entangled in a relationship where the other person was constantly “Dissin’ My Mission.”)

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)

If you’re feeling discontentment and questioning if this relationship is for you, may I propose that it could be the Holy Spirit trying to get your attention.

Are you willing to listen to the promptings from God and obey His commands, trusting that He has your best interest at heart? If you are feeling this nudge from the Spirit, what is He alerting you to?

About Heather Ferroni

Arizona native, Heather Ferroni is a Certified Christian Life Coach and founder of Raised to Life Ministries. After being delivered from a dysfunctional relationship, the Lord grabbed a hold of her heart and placed a great mission on her life: To encourage and equip women to embrace their identity in Christ so that they will experience vibrant God-anointed relationships." Heather writes for The Bottom line on the topic of Dating and Relationships and also shares her passion for the Lord on her blog at www.RaisedtoLife.com as well as encouraging YouTube videos.

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  1. It is interesting way back in Genesis 2:18 it says, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper SUITABLE for him”(emphasis mine). God knows who is suitable for each person, and could there not be more than one suitable spouse? I am inclined to believe that there is not just ONE right person to marry.

    • That’s a thought-provoking question, isn’t it, John!
      The Lord has a perfect plan for each of us, and so long as we’re living our lives in alignment with His will and choosing relationships that honor and glorify Him, I think His heart is pleased. Too often we take matters into our own hands because of our own limited, finite thinking and then we cry out to God to bless a relationship that never honored Him and was never anointed by Him. I (unfortunately) see more people linking up by their own choosing (and I see divorce rates rising) than I do strong testimonies of obedient children that wait on the Lord for Him to orchestrate their love story. I’ll hold out for the latter! 🙂

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