Convicted By My Boss
Mundane. A system. My life had become one long predictable pattern looping over at the start of each day. Morning would break; I would rise, begin our daily habits, and then off to school, teach, back to the house just in time to start dinner, homework, eat, bath time, beddy-bye, dishes, laundry, accounting hat, pick-up, grade papers, midnight goodnight and here we go again.
While loading the dishwasher for the third time one night, (Yes, all three loads were full), my nerves were grinding as I watched my husband continue to take a passive role in our regimen seemingly oblivious to anything but himself and his own needs-at least from my perspective.
My thoughts began to burble and brew inside as my annoyance and anger spewed out of my ears. Speechless, I shoved another dish into its place making a little more noise than usual. At the peek of my anger I heard a still small voice whisper “Who do you work for? “ Ugggh, I had been caught in my thoughts and convicted of a jealous and bitter heart. “You Lord, I work for You.” I silently whispered back.
From that moment on I have had to keep my thoughts and heart in check as I begin each day and work through life’s current trials. Whenever I start doing some “stink’n think’n” as my friend tells me, I ask God to search me and to know my heart; try me and know my worries and concerns and to see if there is any wicked way in me so He can lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23)
As a wife of an unbeliever, life brings alongside it’s own challenges on top of the unbalanced equation in my marriage. However, I have to keep two things in mind. 1. God is my boss. I work for him and him alone. 2. I am to love my husband even when he is unloving to me.
God is my strength and when I don’t have enough of my own, I ask him to give me more. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13). That’s the only way I can explain how I can go days upon days with only a few hours sleep, or to keep up with the everyday happenings with a clear mind. Only God makes it possible.
Wives, I encourage you to respect your husbands even when you feel he does not deserve your respect. God has called us to submit to our husbands as to the Lord because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33). This means that when you are folding the twelfth load of laundry and your husband is watching t.v chilling on the sofa, he is to still be respected and our thoughts need to be redirected.
Those of you who are walking this journey of faith alone know that you are never alone. God is using this time in your life to draw you near to Him. He wants to know you more. Lean on Him and He will hold you up. Even though you may believe that he is the one who needs to change, you are the one God recognizes is willing to be molded into the image of Christ. Be encouraged to know that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)