We’ve been friends for a very long time. You have been there throughout all my decision-making, bad breakups, and the many sleepless nights I’ve stayed up crying. Quite frankly, you have played a huge role in where I am today. But there’s just one problem… I am not happy with where I am today, because of you.
You have tortured my body. Back then, I use to party real hard. Drinking booze, smoking pot, and being promiscuous are just some of the things I would regularly do. Many of my bad decisions came when I was stoned—too drunk to even spell my name yet alone drive. I have fallen out of a tree, jumped off a roof into a pool, and danced naked on a car. My eyes and knuckles have suffered tremendously from the many fights I’ve gotten into. You’ve held that over my head now for too long. But not anymore.
For as long as I can remember, I was the odd one out. I was always the last to get picked for teams, be invited to parties, and get asked out on dates. I have been friends with depression for far too long. Being ostracized was no fun, and having no real friends was truly sad. But most of it was because I have been too shy to socialize. Then when others try to get close, I’d push them away. I like being different, but I don’t like being alone. Somehow you’ve convinced me that celebrating apathy was OK. But not anymore.
The Bad-relationship Stars
I’ve been the “ex” too many times. What’s wrong with me? It seems no one wanted to stay with me because as soon as I was ready to commit, they were ready to leave. I even tried changing who I was to get an ex to stay… but that didn’t work. Maybe I was trying too hard. My ex-lovers have drained me financially and emotionally. The trend was never ending because I’ve allowed you to get in the way. Well, not anymore.
I have been living with you all of my life and have given you too much. But then it hit me, this needs to stop and I need God’s help to overcome. 1 Peter 5:7 advises us, “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” That’s when I realize that I don’t have to live under your captivity any longer. I don’t have to accept you throwing all my bad decisions and disappointments in my face anymore. That’s why I’ll no longer take you with me. What I’ve done when we were friends does not have to dictate what I do today. That was then… This is now.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
If you get to have a conversation with your past, what would you say?