My son was born 3 months early. At 27 weeks gestation and 2 lbs 6 ounces he was a miracle baby. God saw fit to bring him into our lives early and test my faith. Looking back on the situation now I can see that. At the time I saw nothing of the sort. At that time I was angry with and at God.
James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
“Count it all joy” is something that is hard to hear when we are going through tough times. In those moments the natural man wants to curse God and blame him for all the troubles. But in Christ we know that these troubles are a mere road bump on the way to our eventual glorification. We have to take joy in that fact.
Among the many hard times my wife and I encountered with my son’s early arrival I was also trying to get over/process the death of my mother about a year earlier. This made the bad worse for me and ultimately her. The way I acted was nothing short of devilish. It had to have been a work of God that kept my wife near to me through all those bad situations I brought on us. A change had to happen.
My wife endured my heinous behavior for several years after our son was out of the hospital. It took a while before my eyes were able to see how my actions were affecting my son as well. I had seen how my parents actions affected me and I didn’t want that for my son. Slowly but surely God broke me down and changed my heart of stone into a heart of flesh. Through the preaching of His word from the pulpit and some faithful Christians steadfast in their faith I was transformed.
Now I strive to understand His word better and more fully everyday. I’m consumed by it and want to share the love and mercy and grace I was shown, to everyone I meet. If it’s in the Lord’s will I hope to be a pastor of a Church one day soon. Pray for me on that!
My son still saves me every day. Every time some problem comes up I want to ignore, I think about how that looks to him and what kind of message I’m sending to him. My growth in Christ keeps me aware of that. His walk with Christ is his own, I know that. But I want to show him that Jesus does indeed change people and will do the same for him if he puts his trust in Him alone.
Soli deo Gloria, to the glory of…