I was just a child when she died.
Fourteen going on forty.
So young, and yet I became so old.
My smile was buried in her grave,
My laughter turned to stone-cold silence.
My happiness, well, I forgot what that was.
I didn’t need anything or anybody —
At least I didn’t want anything or anybody.
I lost sight of everything and saw nothing.
My world became black and white, like an old photograph.
I lived in memories, visions of yesterday.
My longing was for the peace of the dead.
Time passed and I was doing all right.
I was in control of everything in my life,
And I thought that nothing could change that control.
Guess that is what thinking got me.
I didn’t expect it, hadn’t planned it, wouldn’t have accepted it,
Yet it just sort of happened.
Somehow I felt the warmth of comfort,
The rush that comes from knowing without a doubt
that Someone really does love you.
The love was so intense — so complete — so consuming
that I couldn’t help but fall under its spell.
I gave into the love on a dark, lonely night,
curled up in a ball on my bed.
I wept and let the salt of my tears
mingled with the blood of my love
wash away the pain and confusion.
I knew I would never be alone again.
I began to see things a whole new way.
Life was worth living.
Love, well, that was worth giving.
And that is the way things were “created” to be.
I’m not alone anymore.
I’m not in control anymore.
I belong to another, am kept by another,
and that’s better than being the sole owner of me and nothing else.
For I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine.
How has knowing the love of the Father changed your life?