The Christian Family: Teaching The Work Ethic

The Great American depression and the Second World War produced a new generation of Americans who understood hardship, poverty, and the value of life. Life was precious, and having a job, a home, and a family was priceless.

But out of those good lessons, a dangerous concept evolved that would plague future generations. The new parents after WWII didn’t want their children to repeat the hardships they had experienced. They didn’t realize that those hardships were what shaped them into hard-working, industrious, and, in some cases, prosperous citizens.

Consider this example from God’s creation. The beautiful Monarch butterfly originally was an ugly caterpillar. Through the process of metamorphosis, it develops into the gorgeous adult Monarch. The butterfly starts with the egg, then the larva (caterpillar), then the Pupa (Chrysalis-a hardened version of the larva’s exoskeleton), and then emerges as a magnificent Monarch. If you see a butterfly trying to emerge from its chrysalis hanging from a branch, don’t yield to the temptation to “help” it. In God’s engineering, the timing is essential. During the struggle to emerge from the chrysalis, the butterfly releases a critical chemical that strengthens their wings. Their exertion pumps fluid into their wings, which helps them expand. If you “help” them during this time, you will doom the butterfly to weak wings and a lack of development.

In like manner, you need to let your child go through struggles so they can develop into a strong, effective, mature Christian adult. Using God-given wisdom, discern when you need to help your child or young adult child. Don’t always be quick to rescue them. They need to learn how to extricate themselves from the “messes” they have made for themselves.

What does the Bible say about work?

God planned for man to work – even before man’s fall into sin. (Gen. 2:15). God planned it for man’s good. After man’s fall, work continued, but it was more difficult. “Cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;  Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; (Genesis 3:17-19).

It is best to start work while young. “It is good for a man that he bear the yoke of his youth.” (Lamentations 3:27) The context here is that of the nation of Judah suffering from the devastation of Babylon conquering Judah and Jerusalem. But the principle applies to all of life. Just as the yoke keeps the ox going straight, suffering, trials, and work helped the young person do right. In the Lamentations context, it is the yoke of suffering.   Since Israel was an agricultural society, children in early life would learn to help with the animals and with raising crops.

My dad taught me one of the best lessons I needed to learn as a young person. He was a trucker with his own business, which kept him very busy. My older brothers went off to college, and in fifth grade, I was the only boy home to work our six-acre farm. It became my responsibility to milk the cow, feed the hogs, chickens, rabbits, and dogs, and in the summer, maintain the gardens – about 1 ½ acres. I didn’t always enjoy it, but it was good for me. On some days before and after school, I would help my dad load and deliver freight. When I was old enough, I learned to drive, and at age 16, I delivered freight around town and managed the trucking business while Mom and Dad took a one-week vacation. It became a significant accomplishment in my early life.

It is excellent training for life for your children to have responsibilities around the home. They can clean their room, do dishes, vacuum, dust, mow the lawn, tend the animals, and take responsibility. Parents can tie their successful performance of these duties to the amount of their allowance.

Often, children beg to have pets and promise to care for them. If you get a pet for them, they need to be entirely responsible for caring for it (under your supervision). Occasionally, I have seen parents get the pet. The child takes care of the pet for a couple of weeks and then quits. Mom or Dad takes over.   That should not happen. Children should learn that with privileges come responsibilities. If you give in, you have now taught them irresponsibility and that they do not need to keep their word.

When the child gets to late pre-teens and early teens, they may be able to take a job outside of the home. It could be a paper route, working at a store or a fast-food place, babysitting, mowing lawns, and a host of other opportunities. A job provides an excellent beginning for them to learn the responsibility of working for someone else and to learn how to manage money.

What about helping your child through college? It appears, these days, that most children take it “for granted” that Mom and Dad will pay their way through college. And when they do that, the child misses an opportunity to learn responsibility, including paying their own debt, managing their time, and realizing that college is not all fun and games. If your child is qualified mentally and physically to attend college, they are also capable of working a job in the summers and while going to school. My father wanted me to go to college.   He told me he would pay my first year, but then I was on my own. So, all through college, I carried a full student class hour load and worked a part-time job – and sometimes two or three jobs. By the time I graduated, I was tired, but I finished and was happy with my accomplishments.

My oldest daughter went through college. We helped her some, but mostly she paid her own way by working full-time jobs in the summer and part-time jobs during the school year, all while maintaining a full class load.

Your children can do a lot more than you think and learn practical life lessons if you don’t cushion the road for them by paying their expenses.

The child should learn to give their best on their job. “Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God; And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:22-24).

The child should take responsibility for his work, regardless of convenience, personal feelings, or difficulty.   “He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap. In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good. (Ecclesiastes 11:4, 6).

The child should work not only to meet his own spending needs, but also to be able to give tithes, give to missions, and to those in need. “Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. (Proverbs 3:9-10) “Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.” (Ephesians 4:28).

As a parent, you want your children to grow into responsible Christian adults who can work competently, support themselves, pay their own debts, and live for the Lord.   It is up to you to train them to become what God wants them to be.