Relationships That Build Godly Character

How we interact with other people in the midst of our trying circumstances is one of the most important things in life. A counselor once told me something I have never forgotten: as  important as are the issues of life, what matters the most is how we talk about them with others who are involved. This is especially true in marriage. While it is important to have happy relationships, the goal should be to make us more mature emotionally, and to develop more godly character. It is necessary that we view relationships as a work in progress, especially with difficult people.

Author Paul David Tripp gives this analogy:” It really is true that the number one reason that relationships of all kinds go bad is neglect… You simply cannot let that relationship coast and expect that it will be okay. It’s like planting a garden. You clear the land, you break up the soil and you plant, water and, nurture your flowers, but at that point you do not have the liberty of walking away. Your work has not ended. In fact, it has just begun because you have planted your flowers in impure soil, and in a less-than-perfect environment. Weeds will immediately begin to grow and if you don’t attend to them, they will soon dominate the turf and choke the vitality out of your beautiful flowers. So it is with relationships. Once a relationship is planted, weeds quickly sprout. Weeds of conflict, control, bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, selfishness, pride, greed, jealousy, impatience, unkindness, and self-righteousness, grow and choke the life out of the relationship.”*

Author, Gary Thomas, has this to add: “Christians who dodge all serious struggle and consciously seek to put themselves in whatever situations and relationships are easiest are doing the same thing-they are coasting and eventually that coasting will define them and-even worse-shape them. If there is one thing young engaged couples need to hear, it’s that a good marriage is not something you find, it’s something you work for.”**

One of the best passages in the Bible dealing with relationships is found in Colossians 3:12-14. “Put on…holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and if anyone has a complaint against another, forgiving one another, as the Lord has forgiven you, you also must forgive. And above all these things, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

All of what has been said can apply to any relationship, but especially to marriage. And it is with the most difficult people that God can use the relationship to build godly character.

However, the most important relationship anyone should have is with God. He is not just someone out in the universe. It is possible to have a personal relationship with him by inviting Jesus Christ to be your Savior, who died for your sins and rose from the dead. “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

Question: What is the most important word in this article? Never let a relationship (fill in the blank).

*Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies, Crossway Publishers, 2014, August 17 Devotional

**Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, Zondevan, 2000, pg. 133