It takes true courage to be single–especially when you are seeking Jesus. The world doesn’t exactly embrace us as children of God. But there are things you can reflect on to understand this season. There will be times in your life that God will allow circumstances to unfold just so he can have quality time with you. He loves you as his dearly beloved child. And sometimes he has to get you in a place where you don’t have any outside distractions so that you can focus on him, and only him.
Why am I single?
There is always a reason why you are single. Sometimes you know the reason and other times not. Use this time to ask God for the answer. He can reveal a great amount of beauty and discernment to you when all you see is brokenness in yourself. Whether you have never been married before, divorced, or widowed we all face degrees of brokenness. During these times the best solution is to just sit with the Lord. Your brokenness will not disappear overnight but instead will be healed day by day. He won’t always take away the struggle or the affliction but he will teach you to focus on him. And when you focus on Jesus all the other things in your life will lose their power over you. And you will begin to realize God has it under control.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” -Philippians 4:12
Who am I?
Identity is an important aspect to learn during this season. But how many of us are seeking the Lord to find out who he created us to be? Our identity is found in Christ but if we don’t have a close, personal relationship with him then we will be wandering around trying to find out who we are. And the shocker for many of us is that it has to do with Christ and not us. The most important sentence I read about my identity as I was searching for meaning in my life was, “It’s not all about you”. That sentence did not sit well with me because I thought finding who I was born to be was about discovering who I was. We first have to discover who Jesus is before we get a glimpse of who we really are.
The biggest trap that single people fall prey to is sexual temptation. It entices everyone and abstinence takes discipline. Making the choice to not have sex before marriage while living in a sex-infused world takes strength. In our world that tries to validate our flesh desires we have to be careful of the trap that is set for us to walk into. It’s not an easy thing to walk away from but it is worth it.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
-1 Corinthians 10:13
If you find yourself in this time of being single take the time to discover the joy that comes with it. Take your time to allow God to work in each area of your life in order to heal and learn what he wants you to know.